The Ten Worst Movies that are So Bad they are Unredeemable
Everyone has their favorite movies, or at least movies they will watch time and again regardless of its quality.
What makes a movie “the worst” of all time? This differs in meaning from person to person for different reasons. Some movies are so bad, that their redeemable quality is the humor in how terrible they are. Mac and Me and Food Boy come to mind. They were so bad, they are laugh out loud funny, and where else can you see Jennifer Aniston sitting outside a McDonald’s as Ronald and the customers dance around the parking lot in one of the longest commercials ever seen, or hear the sound of bread rising up in in the palm of a high school student? These are not the best of bad movies, they are unredeemable. Ed Wood was another film producer that made less than stellar work, but still entertaining, in part because of such low quality of the sets, the characters and the rush to get the movie in the can. In his case, it seemed intentional, unlike the following list.
10. Masters of the Universe (1987)
There were He-Man toys, He-Man cartoons, then there was the movie. Dolph Lundgren, fresh off his 1985 role in Rocky IV, had the titular role. Odd, like a majority of pop culture in the 80s, it fell flat in numerous important areas such as plot, design, character development, production quality and entertainment value.
9. The Mighty Raju Rio Calling (2014)
This movie was intended for English speaking children from Indian. It attempted to bring in all the preferences that kids like. Much like the Wiggles had a dinosaur, a pirate, musicians, and an octopus, The Mighty Raju incorporates a collage of high interest items which ensures that the plot line is always going sideways. For those who have not seen it, Raju is a superhero toddler that got his powers from his mother that drank a secret formula while she was pregnant. He had superpowers, a dog that had a necklace so he can talk, but he has no lines, his skateboard turns into a flying ship, and he has a versatile robot companion. He defeats the villain early in the movie, has a romantic interest in India before going to Brazil, where he falls for a drug dealers daughter. He is also amazing at soccer, but leaves the only game he has to chase the drug dealers who have switched to robbing banks and distracting people by dancing. With subtitles that don’t match the dialogue, a tough watch. Raju’s high pitched voice doesn’t help either.
8. Mars attacks (1996)
With an all-star cast of Jack Nicholson, Annette Bening, Jack Black, Danny DeVito and Glenn Close, there was potential, but this movie fell short. For most scary or alien movies, the less screen time for the the aliens, the better the movie is. The Blair Witch was never on the screen, but if you saw little wood figures and piles of rocks near your campsite, that could be a trigger for a rough time. Jaws even followed that train of thought and that is why the shark is rarely on-screen. In this movie, the aliens are cartoonish, the emotional connection wasn’t delivered, and loud music destroyed them.
7. Street Fighter (1994)
You may remember the game Mortal Kombat, or you still play it, the music is unmistakable. The movie is forgettable. The movies rely on the features and familiarity of the game, but it didn’t develop into a compelling story, and if you were unfamiliar with the game, then it is just a chaotic mess of people doing mystical actions while fighting. Street Fighter is like that, except worse. Jean-Claude Van Damme was a big action star, and was recognized for his kicking. This movie was like Mortal Kombat, with a plot that was hard to follow because it lacked appeal. It didn’t have the catchy tune, and much like the game, oversimplification and kept pressing on. Toward the end of the movie, the logo appears, that should be an indication that you lost track of time, and should find something else to do.
6. Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)
Shot entirely on the Skywalker Ranch, this movie brought back Warwick Davis as Wicket, but the other Star Wars characters were absent. Watching a Star Wars movie without a Jedi, is like watching Sharknado without sharks or tornadoes. The intended audience was children that had seen the Return of the Jedi and liked the Ewoks. Those children would have to be willing to enjoy seeing them regardless of what was going on with the plot, or with Star Wars, just furry creatures on a screen for a couple of hours. For everyone else, including fans of Star Wars, the were no new developments to the saga, and nothing connected this story, to the narrative of the established characters. Even though it is not considered cannon, it can still be streamed on Disney+.
5. The Titanic (1997)
While the special effects of this movie were spectacular, the movie, outside the special effects was a disaster of a different sort. The characters were flat, and I am not referencing the scene with an exposed Kate Winslet, I mean the good-hearted poor guy died a poor popsicle with a big heart. The bad guy was bad the entire time. They even gave a narrative of the legend of the Unsinkable Molly Brown that she was a coward without any reason to do so. It didn’t make the movie more compelling and there is no evidence that she backed down. In fact, after the incident, she continued to help survivors and fought for women’s rights. For a movie that relied on special effects, waiting for three hours before the boat starts to sink is painful.
4. Highlander 2: The Quickening (1991)
Highlander brought in a Niche audience. Originally compelling. There was violence, romance, secret lives and mystical powers that granted eternal life, as long as one didn’t lose their head, until the quickening. Characters died, compelling story telling. The second movie brought back Sean Connery even though he died in the original, and the plot became convoluted including a dome put over the earth to replace the ozone layer, and they lost their audience. Even the suspension of disbelief could not hold them.
3. Howard the duck (1986)
Of all of the Marvel movies, and there are a lot more now, this one is abysmal. Howard is creepy and cartoonish at the same time. The interspecies romantic interest of was horribly awkward, and by the time Howard took on the villain, which also looked more cartoonish and with terrible special effects, the climax of the movie left people with the sense of a let down. While the special effects would be better now, the rest of the movie isn’t salvageable either.
2. The Phantom Menace (1999)
While difficult to separate the movie with their expectations, the first Star Wars movie since 1983 brought in droves of Star Wars fans, and probably created a new generation of fans, but that is where the success ended. Much like The Return of the Jedi, there were parts of the movie that were geared towards children, namely Jar-Jar. The movie itself may not have been as irritating as Jar-Jar, but with all that anticipation, it would take years for the franchise to recover, and it never got back to the standards of the Empire Strikes Back.
1. Batman Forever (1995) and Batman and Robin (1997)
These movies are together because they are an extension of poor production value. DC has struggled with narratives that are popular with audiences. Most of their success has come when the villains are the centerpiece of the story. Both of these movies prove that even the biggest names in Hollywood, without quality dialogue, and restricted by their costumes, do not add up to something worth watching, not to mention the infatuation with neon lights.
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